Oh Yeah? It’s cause I freakin rule that’s why!

Things I find funny
eHarmony.com seriously go to a bar!! Or even freakin Walmart it's cheaper and you get to see what the person really looks like.
People who rob ice cream trucks. Dude i'll give you a fudgesicle...
Crackheads. Enough said.
Rockstar Hampsters.
Dancing Cows.
Animated dinosaurs.
Fat bunnies.
Names of chinese food.
Peter from Family Guy!!! He rox my sox!
Quick question? Do you feed a pet rock? What does it eat?
OK a quick fact from me and yes I know basically everything!! New Year's Day is the day that Jesus races turtles on the clouds weather permitting. Sometimes Mary lets him use the den. Have you ever seen an arthritic turtle in the cold? Seriously slow.
One more thing very important. You listening? Fat kids are harder to kidnap!!!!

Sometimes your best kept secret can be your biggest mistake

Maybe no one will ever really "get it." It's just one of those things that comes along and takes a hold of you and never lets loose its grip. It's addictive and cruel yet you want more and more. Time passes and life goes on and you lose sight of it yet it never loses sight of you. It is always there and you know it but the direction it is going in is spiraling you out of control and you love it. Life has a way of making things difficult and confusing. You let it envelope you until you cannot identify with your true self. It will swallow you up and spit you out like fire but the burn is what you truly desire. Wanting and waiting only slowly kills your soul it will hide from you and only appear when you are not focused. You try to stay awake but your eyelids are so heavy that you slip away until it almost feels like death. It breathes you in and exhales its deadly devices. You crave it like you crave oxygen. Ever so slowly reality transforms into ecstasy and it takes you away so far you can never get back. It's colorful and sweet and you long for one more taste of its brilliance. You keep telling yourself that someday you will break free but the chains can never be cut. Deep down you want it to forever take over your body and soul and relinquish you into the depths of intense pleasure. It is in your eyes as you stare into the abyss. It will condemn you until solitude is all there is left yet you cannot resist its temptations. It is amorous and luxurious. You are willing to pay anything for it including your life. What is it? I will never tell.